Palin at RNC convention - "Right Wing MILF's Rule!"

Sometimes, it's just plain easy. Last night's speech by the estimable Governor of our 47th most populous state up yonder, is a truly delightful case in point.

From her "lipstick is the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom" line to sneering summations of Obama's lack of qualifications based on simply self-serving memoir writing alongside community block-party lemonade sales, Sarah sunk all but her back molars into the intended rhetorical victim and wasn't going to be moved off message save a cattle prod to the back of her beehive. Great stuff!

My previous high-water mark had been the 1976 circa Bob Dole in the 2nd slot as best hatchet man for the ticket. I'd like now to amend my ranking. Most are too young to remember the mid-'70's Gov. Reagan debacling of the RNC's presidential chances. Still I have 'The New York Times' Week In Review section speculating on an offer of a co-presidency with Gerald Ford in order to hold the Reaganauts. Instead the bone then thrown to the emerging conservative wing - now base - of the party was a spry Sen. Dole for Veep and not some Rockefeller East Coast cocktail clinker whom Lowell Weicker had not talked down to yet.

Ah, those distant halcyon days! Now we have a cultural Luddite in low heels who pines to pare off her respectable pantyhose if only to use as a crude garrote for anyone wanting to see what American education looks like in the reel after "Inherit The Wind's" conclusion. Perhaps the odd frames sported by our Pat Buchanan pal are really Bond-like daggers for pinning Socialists, literally, to the wall at 20 paces? [Can't wait, by the way, to see what Mr. C. Hitchens makes of this imbroglio?]

Cheap shots above, I admit fully, but let me express, as well, my thanks to the Governor and sincere appreciation of her speechification - as W., no doubt, would dub it. Her timing was exquisite (actually somewhat similar, no kidding, to an early Jesse Jackson's) and should be studied by anyone who aspires to public speaking. More importantly, I haven't had chortles during a talk like that for some time. Her zingers were curare-tinged and as deliciously divisive as the negative to a photo of Huey Long stumping way back when. Her America ain't at the crossroads of the bodega on Martin Luther King Highway and the Indian-run liquor store, but that doesn't vitiate Palin's posture as the true poster MILF for her peeps.

So now no further analytical content from this scribe and, instead, mirthful manna for the multitude of schandenfreude-deprived amongst you. I give you the vaunted Top Ten list from the Applachian home office of various reactions to Gov. Palin's glorious maiden speech.

#10 - Now you know why her husband was a commercial fisherman and left the house routinely for the comfort of 60 foot sea swells in the middle of the Pacific

#9 - Made Margaret Thatcher look like a crumpet-baking house frau by comparison

#8 - Made General Patton & the 8th Army look like wimps by comparison

#7 - If they did play basketball, Palin would foul-out but Obama’s jock strap wouldn’t be in one piece from all the elbows to the groin while driving the lane

#6 - That nervous smile on Cindy McCain’s face during Palin's speech really masked a desperate plea for a Vicodin Smoothie, stat

#5 - Not only does Palin actually know how to fire a rifle without collateral damage and skin her kill cleanly afterwards, but, a-right, Cheney is a borderline McGovernite compared to Sarah Barracuda

#4 - Want to bet that if Palin found Obama on a darkened street then a beat-down with a baby seal to Barack’s noggin wouldn’t be the result?

#3 - Can I have the soft core video rights right now to a sudsy Palin squaring-off with Michelle Obama in some tawdry minimum security Federal Prison shower scenario? [“I’m always as proud of my country as I am of slapping down commie bitch Ho’s!”]

#2 - Made Barbara Bush, in tone, look like Mother Theresa handing-out cups of jambalaya in post-Katrina French Quarter

…, and, drum roll, please …

#1 - Even though Palin was 8 years old when Biden was elected to the U.S. Senate, she still could have kicked his ass!