Saturday, August 4, 2012

Picturing women

Like Squadron Cmdr. C. Wade McClusky, Jr. @ Battle of Midway, sometimes you just get lucky!  Past several weeks have seen bevy of lovely lady portraits which instruct one how best to spotlight beauty inherent in one form of grace - a good woman.

Rule #1: Happy-looking women are not truly beautiful

To right is Frances Conroy - fine actress who has made living looking washed-up.  Literally case, by the way, in minor role as laundry woman Mom to Billy Bathgate film protagonist.  Eye-catching look aside, nary a soul would bet $ this mature gal is prepping for D. Carnegie seminar and/or cheerleader reunion. 

Right, wrong or indifferent, happiness connotes giddiness, which, in turn, is associated with a girl, not a woman.  Ergo, Barbie doll zone is excluded - rightfully, I might say - from beauty pantheon.

Rule #2: Age - within reason - enhances beauty

Young women can be fetching, but hard to be truly epitomy of best in non-Y chromo category.  How dare say you, sir?  Proof, I kindly submit, is in form of Paulina Porizkova to left.  As '80's ( ... '90's?) supermodel, quite sexy, but, 20 years down the line, allure factor up more than compound interest on my Berkshire Hathaway shares!

Rule #3: Irregularities are friend, not foe, of feminine allure

Scottish golf teacher once opined, "If you've got an irregular flaw, get rid of it, but, if it kicks in like clockwork, then polish it to a high shine!". 
Point is that imperfection can be quite useful if harnessed properly or, in this milieu, depicted flatteringly.  Such is case with recent zaftig Olympic sensation, Leisel Jones (above left), from Down Under & spankin' freckles on the lass.  Would this photo be nearly as memorable without them?  Shan't think so, me laddie.

Rule #4: Teeth - showing, not having - are vastly overrated






Know stereotype, beyond twirling hair and/or throwin' head back, is that a full set of Dentyne chompers only enhances.  Think, though, know reason for said discovery - closed mouth allow ladies to express more emotion thru their visages.  "Eyes are window to the soul" ... saying goes and doubly so when woman involved.

Rule #5: Ladies look best with pearls about the neck

Demonstrated thricely in this entry + underscored right per portrait from little known Leonid Krivitsky, is gold-plated fact that nothing enhances a woman's beauty more than some nice pearls about the neck.  Diamonds can be pretty, but - between luster & textural appeal possessed - pearls are to women what chapstick is for lips - something which is never a bad idea to have laying around.

Thus it has been idiosyncratically written, but might I ask for 15 mins. + a nice/hot roast beef sandwich before stoning commences!


1 comment:

Shadowscapestudio said...

My friend, you seem to know women better than most men, and your observations about their beauty is astounding.
How are you on race horses?